If you live in a big city, finding a therapist is pretty easy: we’re everywhere. But finding one that’s suitable for you can feel a lot harder: we all say the same sorts of things on our websites, we all use words like “safe” and “non-judgmental” and some of us have the curious habit of referring to our rooms as a “space”. So how can you tell us apart, and how on earth can you really know what you need and what you want?
In this blog and the three that will shortly follow I’ll outline some of the key considerations in choosing a therapist: namely location, gender, cost, commitment, and modality (the ‘approach’ of therapy).
But first let’s look at the basics:
Stage 1: The Web is Your Oyster
As well as typing in “Crouch End Therapist” or “Wimbledon Counsellor” into Google and seeing what comes up, there are many specialist websites which have search engines designed to make it easier to look up possible counsellors and therapists.
These include: BACP (British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists) – www.bacp.co.uk (click on Therapist Directory); Psychology Today www.psychologytoday.co.uk (click on Find Counselling); and www.counselling-directory.org.uk (click on Find a Counsellor); but there are many others.
Additionally you may find a counsellor whose profile links to the therapy rooms they work from which will have the details of other people who work there (mine is www.onetwofive.me).
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Stage 2: Narrowing the Search
Location: The search parameters on these websites will include your postcode (or the postcode you’d like to see someone in, usually near work or home) and an indicator of how far afield you’d like to go. You will then see a load of mini profiles and photos of counsellors who work in that area.
Issue: You can narrow your search by choosing particular presenting issues which you need help with (say, Anxiety, or Abuse) and the list of possible therapists will narrow to include only those who say they are experienced in working with this.
Stage 3: Making A Choice
Then just flick through the various photos and summaries and see if anyone feels like they might be a good fit.
It might be as cosmetic as them looking nice or the right age, or something in their words which speaks directly to you. You can click on any profile and see what they (we) have to say about themselves in more detail.
Stage 4: Getting In Touch
Once you’ve narrowed it down to a few possible candidates (sometimes it helps to go away and come back a few days later and notice who has stayed in your mind), then you can decide whether to approach him/her.
You can either send them a brief message via the particular site, or phone or email them directly. Many therapists will have their own websites with (hopefully) even more information. Some will even have photographs of their therapy rooms so you can see if you can picture yourself sitting there.
Any contact doesn’t need to be detailed, simply saying you’re looking for a therapist and do they have any slots can be enough for some people; others prefer to write a short paragraph saying “I’ve been having difficulties with x for a while and now feel ready to start exploring it. I wonder if you have any spaces during the day”. It’s completely up to you.
Stage 5: Arranging an Introduction
If the therapist can see you, make sure you agree a session time you can do, as if it’s a slot where you’ll have to race there from work or race out to make it home in time for the school run then this can undermine the process a bit.
Stage 6: Making Payment
The therapist will usually tell you whether you can pay in cash or they’ll invoice you after the session. Some therapists offer discounted first sessions; some even offer free short telephone consultations just to say hello and hear the sound of each other’s voice.
Useful Tip: Shopping Around
It is absolutely normal – sensible, even – to shop around to find someone you feel a connection with. We’re all familiar with clients ‘auditioning’ us by having maybe two or three first sessions just to get a bit of a feel. That’s fine if you feel that would help you. It’s also worth remembering, though, that if a therapist has a busy case load it’s possible they’ll run out of spaces if you wait too long.
It’s Your Choice
There is no right criteria. Some people want to know the therapist’s credentials and working methods; some just want to sense whether they can imagine discussing intimate material with the person in front of them; some just want someone who’s convenient and the right price and beyond that are not too concerned about the therapist’s particulars. In the end, you’re the boss.
Next Time - Part 2: Location and Gender.